Our Kippur Traditions
Kippur in Lyon, France, 2010
Yom Kippur is the one Holiday that we dread and love the most at the same time.
On one hand, it’s the longest day of the year: no consumption of food or drink is allowed for more than 25 hours, and the whole day must be spent analyzing one’s acts , praying and begging for forgiveness.
On the other hand, it is the most rewarding day of the year, both spiritually and physically.
On one hand, it’s the longest day of the year: no consumption of food or drink is allowed for more than 25 hours, and the whole day must be spent analyzing one’s acts , praying and begging for forgiveness.
On the other hand, it is the most rewarding day of the year, both spiritually and physically.
The meal before Yom Kippur
It is a mitzvah to have a good meal the day before Yom Kippur, a mitzvah that we take very seriously in our family, so seriously in fact that it has its own name “7 Plats”(7 dishes). It literally means that we have to eat at least 7 different dishes during this meal, dishes that the men of the family always count religiously.
This custom dates as far as Algeria, where every family shared this tradition.
The meal consists of several appetizers, such as fried eggplants or fried peppers, chuchuka (I know, always a favorite), followed by meatballs with peas, followed by chicken couscous. After this light meal, we barely have one hour before eating “a light snack”, consisting of still warm Algerian doughnuts with coffee.
You think that’s it ? Well, that’s it for the lunch, but we still have to have dinner before the dreaded Yom Kippur starts..
This custom dates as far as Algeria, where every family shared this tradition.
The meal consists of several appetizers, such as fried eggplants or fried peppers, chuchuka (I know, always a favorite), followed by meatballs with peas, followed by chicken couscous. After this light meal, we barely have one hour before eating “a light snack”, consisting of still warm Algerian doughnuts with coffee.
You think that’s it ? Well, that’s it for the lunch, but we still have to have dinner before the dreaded Yom Kippur starts..
The evening of Yom Kippur
A synagogue in Lyon, France
The Fast of Yom Kippur starts before sunset and everything must be ready by then. We have to have had dinner (more couscous and meatballs), we have to get dressed and walk to Synagogue before sunset, while my Mom and my grand-mother would clean the tables in a hurry and light the nightlights in every room for the following day.
As we would walk back from the synagogue, which would have been full, but not as full as it would be on the following day, my Dad would tease us and ask us : “aren’t you hungry already?”or “I really would enjoy a nice cup of fresh water right now. Wouldn’t you ?”. We would moan and complain, but in reality, we couldn’t wait to be able to fast as the adults would, and would suffer just for the glory of being able to claim that this year, “I fasted all day”, and everybody would be really proud. I realize how foolish it was now, but it’s much too late isn’t it?
As we would walk back from the synagogue, which would have been full, but not as full as it would be on the following day, my Dad would tease us and ask us : “aren’t you hungry already?”or “I really would enjoy a nice cup of fresh water right now. Wouldn’t you ?”. We would moan and complain, but in reality, we couldn’t wait to be able to fast as the adults would, and would suffer just for the glory of being able to claim that this year, “I fasted all day”, and everybody would be really proud. I realize how foolish it was now, but it’s much too late isn’t it?
The day of the fast
Alice Hadjadj, age 80
Men in France usually go to the service of Yom Kippur some time during morning. Women usually don’t go that early, because there is no babysitting for kids and on that special day, they usually are especially hungry. But women as well as children walk to synagogue as well, usually in the afternoon. Everyone would pay special attention to their appearance on that day: It is a custom to wear white. Not everybody does, but for sure everybody wears something new and wants to look his best.
Most people present at the synagogue that day do not regularly go during the year (especially women) so today is the day to pray of course, but also to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. My grand-mother would not come to Shul usually, but on Yom Kippur she would put her best clothes on, a hat on her head, and would walk to synagogue. There, she would be delighted to meet with some distant family cousin from Algeria (like the daughter of her husband’s cousin Reinette), and they would spend the rest of the afternoon talking about family and what happened to whom. I know it’s hard to imagine for American Jews, but a service in a Sephardi synagogue in France has absolutely nothing in common with a service in an Ashkenazi synagogue in the US or Canada, where people during the office wouldn’t think of talking to each other or engaging in small talk. The service during Yom Kippur in France sounds like a huge crowd at a party: women talking with each other, kids running and yelling everywhere (there is no organized babysitting, children just stay with their parents), teenagers "taking a break" in the hallways and laughing or talking not so quietly, men trying to hear the voice of the Rabbi and to understand what part of the book he is now reading (nobody announces it, like in the US), and finally the Rabbi getting upset and ordering everyone to quiet down, which lasts for maybe 5 minutes.
As time goes by, more and more people are coming to the synagogue, because everybody wants to be there to hear the Rabbi blowing the shofar, thus indicating the end of the fast. After that, everything goes by quickly : people smiling and kissing each other, trying to find the rest of one’s family (men and women are always separated in France) , and hurrying back home, already salivating about all the food at home.
Most people present at the synagogue that day do not regularly go during the year (especially women) so today is the day to pray of course, but also to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. My grand-mother would not come to Shul usually, but on Yom Kippur she would put her best clothes on, a hat on her head, and would walk to synagogue. There, she would be delighted to meet with some distant family cousin from Algeria (like the daughter of her husband’s cousin Reinette), and they would spend the rest of the afternoon talking about family and what happened to whom. I know it’s hard to imagine for American Jews, but a service in a Sephardi synagogue in France has absolutely nothing in common with a service in an Ashkenazi synagogue in the US or Canada, where people during the office wouldn’t think of talking to each other or engaging in small talk. The service during Yom Kippur in France sounds like a huge crowd at a party: women talking with each other, kids running and yelling everywhere (there is no organized babysitting, children just stay with their parents), teenagers "taking a break" in the hallways and laughing or talking not so quietly, men trying to hear the voice of the Rabbi and to understand what part of the book he is now reading (nobody announces it, like in the US), and finally the Rabbi getting upset and ordering everyone to quiet down, which lasts for maybe 5 minutes.
As time goes by, more and more people are coming to the synagogue, because everybody wants to be there to hear the Rabbi blowing the shofar, thus indicating the end of the fast. After that, everything goes by quickly : people smiling and kissing each other, trying to find the rest of one’s family (men and women are always separated in France) , and hurrying back home, already salivating about all the food at home.
Breaking the fast
My mom usually left earlier with my grand-mother to avoid the crowd of the end of the service and was already home by the time we arrived. She would usually have started frying some almond cigars, because we are all looking forward to eating them, and the low table in the living room would be filled with cigars, and many other traditional pastries. My dad would make everybody gather around, in order to take our annual Kippur picture. After the picture (and much complaining, because everybody wanted to eat), we gathered around in the dining room, and ate some pastries while drinking some coffee. Some would say it is more than enough to break the fast in a wonderful way, but not my Mom! We now have a complete holiday dinner to enjoy, with first a homemade chicken soup, then a chicken and chick pea gratin, chicken with quince jam and of course more pastries for dessert. Let’s just say it usually takes a while to digest all this food, but how do we all love Yom Kippur in that moment! Yes, Yom Kippur is hard, but the break of Yom Kippur makes it all worthwhile.